Falcons
Update
OH F Up
Season 2005 -
2006
The story of life in and around
Falcons are a veterans (over 35)/vintage (over 50) side mainly
playing friendly matches on a Saturday throughout the hockey season.
Any similarity to real life found within the stories that
follow is purely coincidental.
Season 2005 – 2006
|
Date |
Time |
Venue |
Opposition |
W |
D |
L |
For |
Against |
|
10.09.05 |
|
A |
|
1 |
|
|
4 |
3 |
|
17.09.05 |
|
A |
|
|
|
1 |
2 |
3 |
|
24.09.05 |
|
A |
Olton & West & Warwicks |
|
|
1 |
1 |
4 |
|
01.10.05 |
1400 |
H Gosford |
Amersham & Chalfont |
1 |
|
|
4 |
3 |
|
08.10.05 |
|
A |
|
|
|
1 |
3 |
7 |
|
15.10.05 |
1530 |
H |
Reading Vets |
1 |
|
|
3 |
0 |
|
22.10.05 |
|
A |
|
|
1 |
|
1 |
1 |
|
29.10.05 |
|
A |
Amersham & Chalfont |
1 |
|
|
7 |
4 |
|
05.11.05 |
1530 |
H |
|
|
|
1 |
0 |
2 |
|
19.11.05 |
1200 |
H |
|
|
1 |
|
3 |
3 |
|
26.11.05 |
|
A |
Reading Vets |
|
1 |
|
1 |
1 |
|
27.11.05 |
|
A |
|
|
|
1 |
0 |
4 |
|
03.12.05 |
1530 |
H |
Wokingham Vets |
1 |
|
|
3 |
0 |
|
10.12.05 |
1530 |
H |
Polytechnic |
|
1 |
|
1 |
1 |
|
17.12.05 |
1530 |
H |
Chippenham Chipmunks |
1 |
|
|
4 |
0 |
|
31.12.05 |
1130 |
H |
Fledgelings |
|
|
1 |
3 |
6 |
|
14.01.06 |
|
A |
Guildford Gondoliers |
1 |
|
|
3 |
0 |
|
21.01.06 |
1200 |
H |
|
1 |
|
|
6 |
1 |
|
22.01.06 |
13:00 |
H |
Adel (Plate) |
1 |
|
|
6 |
3 |
|
04.02.06 |
|
A |
Havant Cavaliers |
1 |
|
|
6 |
0 |
|
11.02.06 |
|
A |
|
|
|
1 |
1 |
3 |
|
18.02.06 |
1530 |
H |
|
1 |
|
|
3 |
1 |
|
25.02.06 |
? |
H |
Oxted Vintage Moonshiners |
1 |
|
|
5 |
1 |
|
26.02.06 |
|
H |
|
|
1 |
|
4 |
4 |
|
04.03.06 |
|
A |
|
|
|
1 |
0 |
1 |
|
11.03.06 |
|
A |
Polytechnic |
1 |
|
|
2 |
1 |
|
18.03.06 |
1530 |
H |
|
1 |
|
|
5 |
0 |
|
25.03.06 |
|
A |
|
1 |
|
|
3 |
0 |
|
1.04.06 |
|
A |
Chippenham Chipmunks |
|
|
1 |
2 |
5 |
|
9.04.06 |
|
A |
|
1 |
|
|
1 |
0 |
|
23.04.06 |
|
A |
|
|
|
1 |
0 |
6 |
|
29.04.06 |
|
H |
City Of oxford |
|
|
1 |
1 |
2 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Totals |
16 |
5 |
11 |
88 |
70 |
Saturday 17th Sept
–
A
long, lazy and idle summer is now coming to an end. The ashes are won, the
Hobos cricket team have completed their season, holidays have been taken, and
all that summer training is about to be tested on the pitch. Whilst there has
been a singular lack of summer hockey for Falcons players, work has continued
for most with the exception of the part timers of the teaching profession
amongst us. The lighter mornings and evenings that summer provides has made my
daily journey to Filton,
Why
cannot I say?
Because
the 12th September was a target date set to be 1 month in advance of
the real date.
But
the machine hasn’t even been fully built and tested on the supplier site yet,
let alone broken down for transportation to Filton (2 weeks), for re-assembly
and re-testing (4 weeks), at which point I can get my hands on it for testing
(2 weeks) followed by 6 weeks of completion work.
True,
but we cannot say we are late until the real date is passed. “!!!!!!******” Cloud cuckoo land!
Still,
it has been a pleasant summer with many happy hours spent sitting in or around
“the erection” which still endures at the bottom of the garden. The tedium of
work was broken by an enforced “holiday” at home recuperating from a hernia
operation for 3 weeks. I could get used to retirement I think. Two weeks later
and it was off to
“the coming season is now redesignated
00/01 PS ( PS standing for "post sobem " - note correct use of
accusative of..... Sobes Sobis m. meaning " the great Sobes" )”
Thus 01/00/01 reportedly had a line up of:
Wilsdon Robson Wilson Roche Kaluza
Billington Cole Crampton-smith Bailey
Griffith Curtis Henman
in
some loose form or other, including umpire. They, rumour has it, made a
cracking start rattling 3 goals in without reply. Then the pre-season training
really told and, in the second half, scored one more but conceded 3. We look
forward to Groffs jug, presumably at our 1st home game?!? Nearly
half the team then took at least a fortnight off to recover leaving the line up
for 02/00/01, the
SAP (Senators Andy Pearce)
Robbo
Humph
RA
“H” Billers
PC
Groff Twizzle Crampers
Rogues
Falcons Report – Saturday 24 September –
Olton &
The summer has
not been kind to our training arrangements. Keen readers will have recognized
the infrequency of mentions given to TWF (The White Hart, Fyfield). It has to
be said this is not due to the condition of the beer served. The cellar there
remains well looked after offering a regular choice of 4 -5 real ales including
Ian Rogers (the landlord) own White Horse bitter and the even better Waylands
Smithy, also from the White Horse brewery owned by Ian. Unfortunately, whilst
the beer is good, as is the welcome given, the attractions are insufficient to
tempt the driver from Cumnor except on an occasional expedition.
The B & RA
(Bear & Ragged (Arse)Staff in Cumnor) has finally succumbed to
re-development and has closed with potential re-opening in November (?). Whilst
this has been no loss to the Falcons Good Beer Guide it has reduced the choice
of venue for Friday night training. For the pedestrian trainer the choice is
now limited to CCC (Cumnor Cricket Club) and TV. No, it is not that bad, we are
not moribund in front of the electronic goldfish bowl: TV stands for The Vine
in Cumnor. TV is a disappointment. It has potential in that it is a decent,
oldish building, has a reasonable cellar with some good beer (inc. Old Hookey),
but………. But it lacks welcoming staff/management which is surprising given the
temporary closure of its local rival (B & RA). Not only that but it appears
to pride itself in closing on time, even to the extent of calling last orders
at
Which leaves us
with CCC. This has been a regular port of call on a Thursday throughout the
Hobos cricket season and of an early evening on Saturdays to take in the climax
of Cumnor 1st or 2nd XI cricket team with a number of
familiar hockey faces featuring: Martin Hunter, Julian Easterbrook and others.
There is no better way of spending a sunny summers Saturday early evening than
with a pint in the sunshine watching a few runs being scored and some wickets
falling. However, on a Friday night at this time of year it is not quite the
same. Good beer: Deuchars and I have forgotten what the other one is! But you
have to put up with TV at one end or music at the other, and it isn’t a pub.
So, if
pedestrian, we struggle. However, if we can persuade someone to drive our
horizons open up and we are spoiled for choice depending upon how far we care
to travel. Unfortunately that little gem of a local, The 8 Bells at Eaton, has
been closed all summer, but may have just re-opened. We must give it a whirl.
The Thatched Tavern at
I can, however,
recommend The Plough at
“Where are you
drinking?” from Wilsdon.
We look
enquiringly at our driver who gives clearance to his joining us, and so we are
forced to sup a few more. Then someone remembers that TWH also have a beer
festival and they have live music! Our weak willed driver takes us there. The
beer wasn’t as good (apart from the Waylands), but the music was enjoyable and,
apparently, we danced or, at least wobbled! I am told we were taken home around
So, at the moment
the FGBG (Falcons Good Beer Guide) and FGFG (Falcons Good Food Guide) is as
follows using the following symbols:
Balls for the
standard of the cellar (good real ale, well kept)
Sticks for the
standard and cost of food
Jock Strap for
the overall ambiance/comfort of the establishment
With a maximum
rating of 4 in any category.
TV has 2 balls
and one jock
TWH has 3 balls,
2 jocks, 2 sticks
PAH has 4 balls,
3 jocks, 3 sticks
Fishes has no
balls, 2 sticks, 2 jock straps
Miller has 2
balls, 2 sticks, 2 jock straps
Flowing Well 2
balls, 2 jocks, ? sticks
Further
recommendations welcome.
Meantime,
following an enjoyable Hobos dinner at CCC which eventually ended around
Wrong, we have 12
as I am not the only person to have been notified of Groffs non availability
and now we also have GTC (Garry The Coach) lined up. So PJ has to implement the
good old Horace Batchelor Infradraw method that rolling subs allows these days
and we line up:
Ricardo
H Robbo
Crampers PJ
Billers
PC GTC
DC Huggie Breezie
Rogues (operating the HBI across the front line).
They, as befits
losing finalists of the Over 50s Cup last season, are younger than us, fitter
than us, and take their chances better than us. They win 4 -1 with GTC getting
our goal and Rogues committing OGR (open goal refusal). We drink more than
them, once we got served!
Back at the Club
house we discover Mighty lurking behind the bar, so we have to stop for one or
two. We are at home (well, at Gosford
Pumpkin Night in Cumnor
is a traditional event that has been running for many years. The primary
purpose of the evening has always been a social event for the whole village
that raises money for charity. This purpose continues and will take place this
year on
Originally it was the night of the pumpkin
and marrow competition between Cumnor, Standlake and Bampton villages. Latterly
the competition has involved just Cumnor and Bampton. Traditionally it has also
been the night the “Mayor Of Cumnor” or “Keeper Of The Ducks” is elected and
introduced to his or her charges. This tradition also perseveres. A role of
honour traces the holders back over 40 years.
The Bear & Ragged Staff in Cumnor has
always been the venue for the event, but this year Cumnor Cricket Club is
acting as host whilst The Bear is undergoing refurbishment.
Monies raised are shared between
We are looking for innovative gifts that
can be auctioned **, and items for the raffle are also very welcome.
Acknowledgement of commercial donors will
be given.
If you have a donation please contact:
Rogan Meadows 07768 153274 or 01865 862322
Thanking you in anticipation.
** come on you lot, think of some
innovative gifts:
6 months free membership of a golf club?
free legal consultation?
signed tennis balls/shirts?
free meals?
free accomodation?
a night out with you!!??
Falcons Report:
Meantime, the build up to the Falcons first league
game went well. A special expedition was mounted to sample the wares of the
General Elliott in
As predicted a cast of thousands was
promised for Saturdays game when all the availability responses were received
on Monday. Advice was taken regarding the methods that should be employed in
rolling on and off substitutes, something that is not as straightforward as it
might appear when vets are involved. We appear to have a tendancy to
"seize up" once taken off and, thus, are not good at rejoining the
fray. More muscles succumb to damage under these circumstances than any other.
However, we prepared for our tried and tested "Horace Batchelor
InfraDraw" method of substitutions with an expected 13 players. This
number was to be further reduced by the clever tactic of getting Rogues to meet
the opposition at NOSC and re-direct them to
This tactic almost backfired as, in
the event, we ended up with only 11 players, including Rogues the Re-director.
however, the judicious use of his mobile phone illicited the fact that Amersham
had arrived at Gosford and there was no point in standing around any longer at
NOSC.
We duly lined up:
Ricardo
Mighty Humph
Blommers Sobes
Welly
Henn
JPAR Huggie Crampers
Rogues
with PJ on the whistle.
With Blommers, Sobes and JPAR back in
the fold we were confident of plenty of possession and a not over exercised
left wing. Just as well as he should still have been waiting for Amersham at
NOSC. Amersham were present in numbers and looking earnest and efficient. We
were a 4 letter word that means rubbish. Consequently we turned around 2 - 0
down and had a severe talking to at the interval with the prediction that the
next goal would be all important.
So we went 3 - 0 down and continued
to flounder on the slow Gosford track. About the only thing in our favour being
the fact that the sun was getting into their keepers eyes and we were now going
downhill (literally and physically). Then, at a shortie, Sobes blasted the ball
12 inches outside the near post in the confident knowledge that Crampers would
be there to deflect the ball into the net. Correct! And Amersham wheels came
off, JPAR got one, Sobes got one and Henn blasted the ball between the keepers
legs from an impossible angle. They missed an open goal when it was easier to
score than kick the ball, but they chose the difficult option! We came away
smirking, got a couple of jugs of Ruddles Orchard to comfort them and fed them
seconds of Killer Chilli.
They went away magnanimous in defeat
and looking to reap revenge upon Hawks in the Over 40s Cup next Sunday! New one
on us! Alliance League reports their captain as commenting:
This was nearly the opening day shock
result. Amersham led ten minutes into the second half and even when trailing
OHF by one goal, Steve (the third goalpost) Richman missed a simple tap in .
When asked by P J Wilson, who had umpired,
for an explanation for this extraordinary match the Chalfont captain, then on
his third pint, replied that beating the Alliance champions so early in the
season would have been a bad move
because his team would have been marked for the rest of the season'
Falcons
v.
Further
investigation on behalf of the “F”ing Good Guide (Falcons Beer/Food Guide) have
taken place this week. Sunday saw the monthly gathering of the ATS (Adastral
Training Squad) with the Chequers at Weston On The Green being selected as the
venue. This was our first visit since it ceased to serve Thai food. As we
walked along the path towards the entrance at the rear I had a worrying moment
as I looked in through the window: the bar had disappeared! This could be
terminal. Fear not, they have moved it from one end of the room to the other.
And it still serves good bitter. Menu now offers English food and, once we had
fought our way past the “we have run out of that” dramas, proved very
acceptable. Overall: 3 balls, two sticks, two jocks.
Tuesday found a
small gathering at CCC to celebrate Dick Townleys 70th. Well, warm
him up for the day. Dick used to feature for Adastral in the late ‘60s
alongside the likes of Robson (Dave & Judy), Timberlake, Meadows and
others. He recognized when to retire rather earlier than some but is still
looking good and maintaining the training. Friday took us to another birthday
celebration, this time at PAH (Plough @
Following my four
days at Filton I spent Friday WFH – working from home. Good weather meant that
it was very pleasant walking the dog by the river and the lawn got what I hope
to be its final mow of the year. Lack of a confirmation E-mail of team from The
Pope did not bode well, and this was confirmed at our meeting at Cutteslowe on
Saturday. A nightmare selection week for Falcons who were dependent upon the
needs of the Senators who were hostage to the Fledglings selection. Some late
evening wheeling and dealing meant that we had 11, just:
Ricardo
Robbo Humph
Blommers PJ
Billers
DC Twizzle
Huggie Crampers Rogues
With Hugh on the
whistle – very good to have you back, Hugh.
The plan was for
PJ to play 1st half at CH, then move to RH at half time with
Blommers dropping back, Robbo moving across, Humph moving forward, and Billers
moving across. Follow that?
Name the second
half line up, then.
The pressure of
the week had told on The Pope who was unsure whether he had dispatched Twizzle
to
We then made a
fatal mistake: having survived several scares, we scored first. Several more
scares ensued before they got a goal followed by a second. Two one down at half
time, not irretrievable! Six one down is irretrievable, even though we
flattered to deceive by scoring two in quick succession but there was to be no
magical turnaround like last week.Pitts The Youngers proved their complete
superiority by scoring a seventh to make it 7 – 3, our scorers being Crampers
and Huggie with two.
They were joined
by their Elders in the clubhouse and we enjoyed their Badger beer and curry
before heading back and, after some discussion, opting for
Sat 15/10/05 Reading, home
With a
Everything seemed to start off O.K., but then the first beer of choice
(?Long/High Jump?) went off on the second round and we were forced onto
alternative varieties which, whilst acceptable, were not of true clear quality.
Thus I have to report that the General Elliot has dropped a bollock (or ball)
on the ratings front. Partly as a consequence of all this we did not make to
much of the lack of anyone shouting last orders and got home at quite a
respectable hour. This meant that I could have a good lie in Saturday morning,
then walk the dog by the river, read the paper, get fish and chips for
"brunch" and then join the traffic jam that led from Botley to
Meanwhile a rather "experimental" line up of Falcons was
emerging for the game against
Ricardo
Blommers Huggie
STE Billers RA
DC Groff Twizzle
Crampers Rogues
with The Pope blowing.
We survived the first half, and won the second. Huggie was imperious at
the back, DC got our first, Twizzle two more and Ricardo noted (but did not
celebrate) his first clean sheet of the season. The KC was accompanied by RO
until we were evicted from the clubhouse (Killer Chilli, Ruddles Orchard). we
were content.
Rumours that this might have been the earliest that Ricardo had kept a
clean sheet proved false when previous seasons annals were analysed. Indeed it
seems that October is the regular month for 1st clean sheets:
Next week we travel to
Saturday 22nd October –
In order to
enliven what was otherwise destined to be a pretty standard week I promised
myself an outing to check up on the new owners of TWH (The White Hart,
Fyfield). Mark II Ian (
I had just
started up the car when the mobile rang. It was ex-mayor Gordon enquiring if I
fancied a pint with himself and a couple of others. I informed him of my plans
and they decided to join me, picking me up en-route. Having done so, just
before exiting the village, I received a text message from CSR (Clean Sheet Ricardo)
enquiring if I was out. Whilst “Flash” turned the car around I rang him back to
say we were on our way to collect him. We got cut off. We phoned each other
simultaneously and left each other messages (wonderful things, mobile phones!),
phoned again and made contact. As we reached his back door he was stuffing
pasta into his face whilst attempting to tell me over the phone not to bother
picking him up, he would follow us there. We wasted no further time (it had
been a rounds worth since we started!!”) and hit The Hart.
Usual locals in
residence, good looking array of beers on the pumps: bitter and Village Idiot
from White Horse Brewery, plus two others, one 3.8 and one 4.2 on the Richter
scale. The two others were shared between us between catch up conversations
with locals. Only then did I take a look at the barman and realize his face
looked familiar. However, there were more worthwhile distractions in the form
of young ladies flitting around, smartly dressed in white tops and trousers –
tight fitting! On taking a second look (at the barman) the penny dropped and,
on enquiry, he confirmed that we had, some 8 or so years ago, shared an
employer. He (Terry) was our sales manager/director into what became Rover
Group. He was a renowned wheeler dealer in those days, but not of the brash
variety. It turned out that his daughter (owner of one pair of trousers!) was
married to the chef and could be the lawyer, therefore according to Blommers.
Did not go into that, concentrated on the quality of the beer and the view. It
wasn’t long before the 3.8 was polished off, with help from CSR who had
digested his pasta and joined the kitty. Terry had not changed that much. Like
any good sales person he spotted an opportunity (the kitty) and ensured he got
it. Thus we departed somewhat later than I had originally intended and ten
pounds per head lighter! We did get a look at the chef and his menu. He seems
quite young to be patron of such an establishment, the menu reads well, if not
cheap. You can get “Manor Farm sausages” with mash for under a tenner but not
much else under £15 on evening menu. Manor Farm sausages sounds good. Better
than “Willies bangers”, but the pigs are reared and farmed by Willie Lay and
his wife Millie of Manor Farm. I remember writing a poem for their wedding with
the final line saying that Millie had now, officially, become a good Lay. They
have had two children and several hundred piglets since!
We all agreed,
upon leaving, that the beer warranted a return trip Friday night, given that we
could arrange a “get you home service”. Good old Ade was duly drafted in and
appeared, reliably, at
Saturday mornings
walk with the dog was a leisurely affair by the river, having ensured that we
were organized on the home front for our hosting “starters for six” as part of
the village revolting revolving supper (starters at one house, then
split up and go to different houses for mains, then to village hall for pudding
for 80 odd). It was this impending event that had ruled me out of the
E-mail:
We had the
better of the game but couldn't score as usual.
They had
their youth policy in action yet again! The best player on the
field was a
42 year old member of their 3rdXI and then they added a 34 year old who was too
quick for us . Without those 2 I suspect that we would have won.But never mind
we played quite well - considerably better than they did. Other than that an
enjoyable game. Our left
winger was
nowhere near the class of our usual LW!!!
Line up :
Wilsdon
Blomley
Wilson.
Elliot
Billington Allen.
Cole Sobey
Hughes Crampton Robson.
Umpire
Henman(had the best game he has had for years!!!!)
Goalscorer Hughes : Final score 1 – 1.
A standard, 4
times up and down week was enlivened by the need to attend a final Pumpkin
Night preparation meeting on Wednesday. As a result of sterling work by Messrs
Prothero and Gordon the previous weekend we now had a very impressive list of
donors for the auction and raffle. Donations ranged from meals at various
licensed establishments to the use of a Land Rover for the weekend. We gathered
in Cumnor Cricket Club to review arrangements. We had three previous Mayors,
the current Mayor and Nick Harris (also a previous mayor and Chief Pumpkin
Master), Chris Prothero (this years host) and myself (glad of any excuse to get
near a bar). The order of events was well publicized: magician, childrens fancy
dress, mayor nominations, fireworks, announcement of mayor/dipping in pond,
raffle, auction, disco. We had the magician lined up, children prizes and lots
of sweets to give those who didn’t win, we had the disco arranged, plentiful
supply of beer, two bars, marquee and pumpkins from Cumnor. Whilst contact with
Bampton had been made it appeared their organization had fallen apart and they
would not be attending or sending pumpkins. They hoped to be able to return the
cups they won last year. We duly arranged whom was going to go and collect the
items pledged for the auction/raffle and printed certificates for the donors to
sign where the pledge was to supply services. We had a volunteer to organize
the raffle, Nick would act as Master Of Ceremonies, The Mayor would judge the
fancy dress and pumpkins, Chris had organized transport for the new Mayor
to/from the pond, and the dependable munitions experts were keen to provide the
fireworks. We just needed to sample the beer, therefore.
Thursday was
pledge collection night involving visits to The Fishes, General Elliot,
Greyhound and, finally, The White Hart. There I was joined by Ricardo and a
miscellany of Cumnor worthies including a couple of ex.mayors. The miscellany
were abandoned by Ricardo so I duly deposited them home around closing time.
Friday was WFH – Work From Home day. A nice walk with the dog between sessions
on the computer, followed by a trip to the cricket club to commence laying out
the tables for the auction and raffle lots. The special “Pumpkin Ale” had
arrived from way up North and just had to be sampled – very acceptable!. Home
for early supper with the whole family who had arrived for the night. Then off
to CCC around
Given the effort
put in to make the night a success, it was a “no brainer”, and the cabal of
ex-mayors elected Chris Prothero Mayor Of Cumnor 2005. Off to the pond sitting
in an armchair in the back of one of those motorized garden trailers. Some nice
firework fountains illuminated a dark, muddy pond, devoid of ducks, into which
the Mayor was duly “baptized”. Not sure how the resident carp view this, but we
had a very muddy Mayor. We all trooped back to the Club, replenished our glasses
and prepared for the draw and auction – the real money raising bits – for the
usual beneficiaries:
A quick visit
Saturday morning confirmed that it had been a good night and we all knew what
we were doing regarding getting the remaining bid money in. Then it was off to
Cutteslowe and on to Amersham, well
Ricardo
Blommers Robbo
Ellio Sobes
Humph
DC PC
Huggie Twizzle
It wasn’t long
before DC and PC were interacting effectively down the right but the final ball
was failing to find a Falcon. Meantime there were some scares at the back with
one glaring miss from their troublesome left winger. Eventually Huggie got his
range and then there was no stopping him: 5 in all! Sobes got a classic for him
at a shortie, and DC claims the seventh, Twizzle disputes. Despite all this
there continued to be trouble behind! Ellio was having a torrid time against
his winger and finding him impossible to get past and, whilst this distraction
down Falcons right was going on, Amersham scored four from their right.
Amersham food
lived up to its reputation with an excellent choice of curry or beef bourginon,
however our visit was curtailed when we discovered there was no beer! Lager,
Guinness and cider yes, bitter no! So off to Titsworth we went before an early
night.
Sat. 5th November –
The standard 4
times up and down with accompanying 4 early nights and 4 early mornings was
enlivened by a visit to the Bay Tree restaurant in Eynsham with Ann & Geof.
Formally known as the Board Hotel when I lived around the corner in
A nice lie in on
Friday as I was WFH, and duly logging on to the work network and E-mails at
Now, those who
know the road layout as you leave the A420 and enter Cumnor will understand the
problems that follow. The rest proceed direct to The Vine! That was the problem
– proceeding directly to The Vine. To get into Cumnor from the South bound A420
involves taking a slip road just before the 1st flyover. At the T
junction at the end of the slip road we were faced with a dilemma. We wanted to
turn left into Cumnor to The Vine. However, immediately after the turn, on the
left hand side of the road, was a police car parked with flashing blue lights
alongside another car that was on the grass verge. To get to The Vine we would
have to pass the police car by going onto the wrong side of the road.
Alternatively, we could turn left and take the long way around, wasting a good half
pints worth of time. What would you do?
Nothing coming
the other way so I turned left. I was just passing the police car with all its
flashing lights when two things happened concurrently: the lady police person
started chasing after me shouting, and I dimly saw, through all the flashing,
black things across the road. The lines were down and I stopped just before
becoming entangled, opened my window and politely apologized to the police
lady, reversed back into the slip road, and nipped off the other way. Luckily
The Vine had a late license that night so I did not miss out as a consequence
of the detour.
Saturday morning
found me and the
By this time a
fairly youthful squad of
Ricardo
Mighty Blommers
Ellio Billers
Groff
Henn PC
DC Twizzle Rogues
With Goal Machine
(huggie) on the bench and The Pope as coach/manager, Hughbie on the whistle.
Yes, they were
fast, but we did pretty well. Our first half featured two “airiels” : one at
our first shortie where Rogues performed his famed airiel having been set up by
Ellio, the other being a classic Henn version – you know the one, nowhere near
the ball but that crack of wood on wood!
Additionally both
DC and PC featured in very polite comments regarding the behavior of their
markers. Second half saw the departure of Henn, the arrival of Huggie at centre
forward with DC moving to the wing. No real change from 1st half, we
scored none for the first time this season, they scored two.
Before this there
would be another visit to Bablock Hythe with the dog before braving torrential
rain to watch the Mens “1s” go down to Plymouth. Personally this appeared to be
another rather shapeless performance. I would like to see more of Tim, up the
pitch, attacking the opposition defence in areas where he can win
shorties. I realize that the more time
he spends on the pitch the more likely he is to be sent off owing to “verbals”.
However he has the speed and ability to really get at a defence and needs to be
given that chance. Hey ho, we went and drowned our sorrows in Dark Ale at The
General Elliot.
12th November, no match!
If you see a red
haired, bearded, bespectacled man wandering around looking smugly pleased with
himself, it is probably me. And the reason for looking so pleased with myself:
I’ve got a new set of nuts!
No game last
week. Consequently Ricardo left the country, the rest of us in Cumnor indulged
in some worry free training, untroubled by thoughts of having to perform the
next day. Plans to avail ourselves of some decent beer and atmosphere were
abandoned in favour of meeting Nick Harris at The Vine. Atmosphere acceptable,
as was the beer. Just made it home before
Early start on
Sunday, up and walk the dog behind Farmoor reservoir, then pack up the car and
off to
A couple of
“en-suite” G & Ts and we then set off into Old Portsmouth where the Good
Pub Guide featured “The Hope & West”, a George Gale establishment.
Unfortunately it is one of those places that doesn’t do food on a Sunday night,
and we were starving. Luckily, just across the road was the inevitable Greene
King pub with grub. Sitting in a window upstairs we looked across to the
Spinnacre Tower and could watch the ferries arriving and departing their
berths: fast cat’s, regular car ferries to Isle Of Wight, foot ferries to
Gosport and the very occasional large cross channel job. Not a bad meal either
with all this activity outside.
Monday morning
brought bright sunshine to illuminate the view from our bedroom across to Ryde.
An excellent “full English” buffet downstairs fuelled us up for the day ahead
and, with the weather being so good, we decided to stroll along Southsea front.
Two hours later we strolled back, collected the car and returned to park along
the front where we could sit and read the papers like an old couple. Then we
had lunch – sitting outside in the sun, by the sea, watching the aircraft
carrier Illustrious leave port. Yes, it was warm enough to lunch outside in mid
November! After lunch it was off back to the area by the docks to actually go
up the
That evening the
Hope & West was serving, and we sat in a window seat on the first floor
right alongside the narrow entrance to
Tuesday morning
was wet and misty. Just as well we were planning simply to return home via M
& S at Hedge End. Another excellent full English with toast and coffee then
load up the car. Bugger! Got a flat rear near side. Ah well, dear, you sit in
reception and have some more coffee whilst I change the wheel. Just means we
will have to drift home slowly as it is a slave wheel. Flippin heck, who did
these nuts up, con only just loosen them. Well,
only just loosen three of them. The fourth, the locking nut, I cannot
get a purchase on and get the necessary leverage onto it to move it. Have generated
some swarf tho’. Nothing for it, phone Lex1Call (this being a lease car) and,
in 40 minutes, the cavalry arrive. Well, the RAC. He prenounces the unlocking
device for locking nuts buggered. However, using his long handled thingy gets
just sufficient onto it to get it off and fit the slave using 4 ordinary, non
locking jobs. Well done that man.
More phone call
(thank goodness for a mobile!) and I have replacement set on order from Volvo
for next morning, and we drift back to
So, there you
have it, no match, but not an entirely blank weekend/start of week. And a new
set of nuts. No wonder I’m smiling.
Saturday 19th November –
After all the
excitement of the previous weekends
Some of the oppo.
were already in evidence and looking even younger than the lot that had beaten
us 7 – 3 at
Ricardo
PJ Huggie
Groff Sobes
Billers
Henn Paddy
DC Twizzle Rogues.
As predicted they
were young, they were fit and they were keen. Ricardo kept us afloat and Sobes
scored. Half time meant re-arrangements to accommodate the A34 survivors:
Ricardo
Blommers PJ
Groff Billers
RA
Henn Sobes
Huggie Twizzle DC
DC got another
for us before they got one back. They were getting somewhat fraught, not helped
by Sobes getting his second, our third. However, they managed to get another
and then the equalizer right on time: 3 – 3. Very creditable, yet
disappointing!
The KC was going
down a storm with a queue for seconds. One of their number announced that the
only reason he played was to come to
Man of the match
Happening of the
week
Dick of the day
Save of the year
Etc
Etc.
It has to be said
they are not that generous with their awards – none of the Falcons received a
single nomination.
Meantime the
“1’s” were off to a late start on the frosty surface thanks to Birminghams
delayed arrival. Like the Falcons, they let in a late one to come away with a
draw. I trust we can do better than them in our cup visit to
Two games, one
weekend, can we do it?
Watch this space.
Weekend 26/27th November:
Reading & Ipswich away.
We received a bye
in the first round of the Over 50’s Cup, as we did last year. This meant that,
for some time, we knew our first match would be on 27th November,
but had to await results from first round to find out who and where we were
playing. 30th October was the date of the first round and it was
towards the end of the following week that Captain Henn announced we had drawn
However, back to
the beginning and, having been kept off for half a game on Saturday I
volunteered and played for “A’s” on Sunday against Chipping Norton. I cannot
say that I saw the whole game as the fog prevented a clear view down the pitch.
I saw enough to recognize that the oppo were somewhat younger than ourselves,
coming mainly from
Four times up and
down the Filton route was celebrated by a meal at The Fishes on Thursday
evening: excellent food and service, ordinary Greene King IPA. Friday WFA
allowed dog walking by the river first thing, culminating in a steady training
session in The Vine. A good walk with the dog Saturday morning by the river
before brunch, then off to Cutteslowe to meet for the trip to
Ricardo
Mighty PJ
Blommers Billers
Humph
Robbo Twizzle
Huggie Groff Rogues
Whilst we scored
first from an excellent pass to Huggie who worked the opening and put it away,
they equalized by half time. A clean sheet second half then ensued with Twizzle
eventually retiring to the wing as another part of his body succumbed to the
pressure.
Their beer and
chips went down well before a swift trip home and into the clubhouse to test
the Ruddles. Then it was home, home, in order to go out with the “Night Mayor”
and Nick Harris and our partners to guess where – The Fishes! For those
unfamiliar with names, Nick Harris is a fellow Old Waynflete, resident of
Cumnor, chief organisor and unofficial historian of Pumpkin Night, and for the
last 30 years, been a Radio Oxford commentator on the United matches when he is
in the country. When he is not in the country he is to be found amidst the Moto
GP motorcycle circus that travels the world. As for the “Night Mayor”, he is my
training partner and neighbour who happens to be an ex mayor of Cumnor. We had
a splendid evening once we had sorted the transport. Splendid food, splendid
service and plenty of splendid Ruddles Orchard.
Sunday morning
came all too soon and it wasn’t an exactly keen and eager squad that gathered
at Cutteslowe at
Ricardo
Mighty Robbo
The Baron
Humph Billers
RA
DC JPAR
PC Sobes Rogues
Unsurprisingly,
given the not entirely familiar line up, we never clicked and were “done” 4 –
0. They entertained us well with some very nice roast pork before we set off up
the A14 to avoid the M25. Good move. Two and a half hours later we were supping
an excellent pint of Fullers in The Chequers at Weston On The Green before
retiring home.
Man of the match
/ weekend – BILLERS!
Lets hope the
Plate draw is kinder to us!
Saturday 3rd December –
Wokingham at home
After the
disappointment of the previous weekends two trips away it was good to be facing
a game at home. However the week did not start well with an early phone call to
me at work on Monday reporting that the dishwasher had blown up. And it was
only 11 years old! Call for the repair man and see what could be done. And it
can be…..done. Good, these old Zannusis’. This bit of good news seemed worthy
of celebrating, so the Cumnor six invaded the Eight Bells at Eaton Thursday
evening. Good job we did ‘cos we were the only invaders. Shame, as it is a nice
old place with some decent beer.
Friday, WFH day,
meant a nice gentle riverside walk with dog followed by digging out the Christmas
decorations in readiness. In doing so I found the Adastral badge in the “A’s”
box – n.b. John A. Too early to put
them up yet, but could test the lights and throw out a couple of sets where
there were more bulbs not working than working. Gives an excuse to look for
replacements as well! Friday was rounded off by a quick trip to TWH to check on
quality (food still looking expensive but good quality, beer excellent)
followed by a quiet, select session at The Vine.
Donned all the
wet gear for the walk Saturday morning and arrived at NOSC to find the pitch in
pristine condition as no one else was using it. Those in the know will remember
that we had something of an interesting episode during and following our last
encounter with Wokingham. In fact only a few weeks ago they were talking in
terms of not turning up unless………… However, I am pleased to report that they
were there on Saturday, and proud to be the league leaders, with us in 6th
place. Come tea time they were in 2nd place, we in 5th.
We were:
Ricardo
PJ Humph
Blommers Billers
RA
Henn/PC JPAR
Huggie Crampers Rogues in the first half, and :
Ricardo
Mighty PJ
Blommers Billers
RA
Henn JPAR
Humph Crampers PC/Rogues in the second.
There was only
one team in it, albeit we kept them in the game by not scoring enough to wrap
things up completely. PC got our first from a hard Rogues shot that was going
wide until he deflected it into goal. Huggie got the second, creaming it in
from wide on the left, ignoring the left winger who was occupying the centre
spot at the time and distracting their keeper. Two nil at half time. More one
way traffic in the second half, with the ball being moved around well. There
was at least one good cross field pass from inside right to left wing by JPAR.
The incumbent left wing had to retire with shock immediately afterwards. We
duly got a third from a PJ short corner. He had run out of ideas regarding
which way to pass it so had a shot which kinder looped into goal at a rather
high level, but counted.
So, PJ bought a
celebratory scoring jug and Ricardo bought one for his clean sheet. The KC was
appreciated by Wokingham who departed on good terms. Job done!
Worth mentioning
that:
-
the first team also scored three on Sunday at home to,
but kept us biting our nails to the end by allowing a dead and buried
-
We have drawn Adel (from
Saturday 10th
December – Polytechnic at home
First Sunday in the month continues to be Adastral Training Squad get
together. This month saw us at The Black Horse, Hanney. Despite a certain
amount of disarray on the arrival front we had an excellent evening. Owing to
two cars being late and having to understand the menu and deliver their orders
over the telephone having been told we weren’t having starters, we decided to
have starters to buy them time to arrive. Naturally they arrived just as
starters were served! Very good variety of food including kangaroo, ostrich and
alligator. Less ambitious range of beer, but good quality all the same. Overall
an enjoyable evening well worth repeating. Shame Blommers didn’t make it!
We did make it to the Mayors Luncheon on Friday. Two for
I did not see too much of Saturday morning, had some lunch and then off
to NOSC for our fixture with Polytechnic. We were awful in the 1st
half, slightly better in the second and managed a one all draw. We had heard
that they were going to be short of players and, to avoid them crying off, had
three extras there for them. It was a little annoying, therefore, to have them
turn up with a full squad. Admittedly one of their number had gone through
passport control en-route to
The KC was well received as was the Ruddles. Henn was spotted washing up
for a second week running and I suppose I ought to mention the fact that JPAR
actually ran all the way from half way into the circle with the ball, without
passing right or (surprisingly) left. Poly know us well and were so surprised
themselves that they stood and watched him score.
We were:
Ricardo
Mighty PJ
Blommers Billers RA
Henn JPAR Huggie Humph
Rogues
The Baron featured for them, Robbo and John Adsett didn’t in the end.
Saturday 17th
December – Chippenham at home
League fixtures having been completed for this year, we have some
“friendly” encounters with old friends before returning to league action mid
January. Not only is league action complete for this year, but my time at
Filton is also coming to a close. Not that the project is complete, just that
all order cover for “contractors” ends with the calendar year and they cannot
afford, and do not require a full time manager on the project I have been
guiding. Thus I am handing it over to someone to run alongside work they were
already doing.
I find it quite amusing in a masochistic way to hand over the project in
the state that it is in. I am a great believer in the maxim “It’s the way you
tell them”, and this is certainly true of this project. It was planned to last
12 months with our drilling first holes in the A400M wing at stage 0 in
September 2005, and at stage 1 in December 2005. I started at Filton November
2004. As I leave the project has run for the 12 months, we have spent all the
budget, but it will be another 6 months before we deliver everything that has
to be delivered. Good, eh!
Despite this “debacle” I leave with a glowing reputation, and the
project is viewed, currently, as a success! “How so?” I hear you ask, if you
haven’t already lost interest. Project management is about managing
cost/budget, timescales and quality. That is what we are taught and I have a
professional qualification to prove it. So, for this project there is nothing
wrong with the quality, but the timing and budget are completely blown and we
haven’t delivered anything yet. There is a fourth important element to manage
that is equally important: customer expectation. The fact that the project is
in the doo doos is no surprise to anyone and the fact that it will deliver
technical innovation, but late, is expected and is in line with the rest of the
aircraft program. The secret is in the holes: in order to drill them someone
has to define them. Not exactly a surprise, in fact long known and
acknowledged, but to get anyone to actually do it…………………….
So, it was a busy week. The family decided to descend upon us Monday
evening and we went off to the Black Horse Gozzards Ford for a meal. Excellent
food from a set up tightly run by Karen, acceptable
Persuaded Ricardo to visit TWH Thursday evening just to ensure that we
had got the booking right, whilst it was back to The Vine on Friday for the
weekly locals get together. Meantime I had taken my leave of Filton via a team
lunch on Thursday and delivered my final report, see below.
Saturday morning was beautifully frosty and sunny. Walking the dog was a
joy. Chippenham arrived looking youthful in some departments but, it turned out,
fielding three keepers. We welcomed back CSW between the sticks (Clean Sheet
Wilsdon), whilst “goal machine” Roche was keeping ahead of the other scorers up
front. He scored two, Robbo and Rogues got one apiece. Usual appreciation of
the Killer Chilli and the Ruddles before we trundled off home. Team:
CSW
Mighty PJ
Groff Billers Humph
Henn JPAR Robbo
H Rogues
Roche Minimus umpiring.
Sunday was, again, frosty for dog walking before appearing at St Edwards
for morning hockey between Adastral and Hawks mixed alongside a Hawks v Hawks
mixed match before retiring to club house for mince pies and the purchase of
raffle tickets and calendars. A busy week.
The project report from Filton:
A400M “OLP”:
Off Line Poem
It was in November, 2004
That I first came through the Airbus door.
They were getting desperate to find a PM
To work on the programme for A400M.
There were various projects, large and small,
And some that weren’t really projects at all.
But one in size, was the king:
A400M Off Line Programming.
Producing NC Programs was the goal,
NC programs to drill a hole.
But composite materials meant varying the speed,
And meant, in turn, varying the feed.
One other innovation, from the start,
Was the ability to skip over a missing part;
So that when we actually drilled a wing
We could come back later to complete the thing.
With only vague ideas of what, how, who or why,
Let alone when the thing was due to fly,
Of tasks we decided to make a list
And just hope that not too much was missed.
We had nearly 600 scheduled tasks come January,
With critical path not that easy to see.
But there was one critical goal,
Which was:
how the hell to define a hole!
ACE UDF was favourite, or it might
Be a variation called ACE UK Light.
We just needed a decision, or at least a sign,
Of what it would be, from Design.
Variable speed and feed needed software writ
And, for this, Airbus had chosen LayerDrill from
CENIT.
And to manage finished programmes, missing parts and
things
They wanted Kongsberg software known as KIMS.
So Dave and Steve wrote specs from what they knew
Whilst we chased dependencies, and there were quite a
few.
But, despite it having a pivotal role,
Still no-one would decide how to define a hole.
We made an assumption and hoped it would be fine,
As we needed to get CENIT to deliver in time.
Kongsberg were also on the critical list,
But order targets were repeatedly missed.
Thus it looked like we would be late
In trying to meet Nigel’s’ “On Dock Date”.
But still we couldn’t find a soul
Who would actually define a hole.
At last the ACE tool was the chosen one,
And a demo organized, for some.
And, amongst other significant things,
We actually issued an order for KIMS.
So, for multi layer holes, we had a tool that was
fit,
But no-one owned up to delivering it.
So development progressed with nothing to see:
Based purely on theoretical specs, no reality.
Up at Hyde the AMTRI machine was struggling along,
Whilst in the States, they were reportedly on song.
But just as the Stage One data started to flow
Down came the shutters, an information embargo!
So, whilst Stage Zero progressed and continued to run
We couldn’t even take off, in respect of Stage One.
And whilst Stage Zero progressed, we avoided the trap
Of having to wait for an H & F map.
However, all the time we were spending awaiting the
data
Meant that the project was getting later and later,
With the result, for us project management folk,
That meeting “On Dock Date” was getting beyond a
joke.
For Stage Zero we needed the detailed design.
It was so late that it was beyond “cutting it fine”,
And despatch to Filton was now forecast so late
That it was after the official “On Dock Date”.
But as we needed to have the AMTRI machine here
Before our last tasks even started to disappear,
I gave up considering it to be a crime
To be delivering this project way after time.
“On Dock Date” came and “On Dock Day” went,
And all the money had now been spent.
But did I care in my management role?
Not particularly, there was still no-one to actually
define a hole!
“On Dock Date” was now 4 weeks gone
Before we could go to Amtri to test how wrong,
To test the macros, and to simulate,
And to discover our first realistic state.
And then, just as the PM forecast it,
We were duly buried under a pile of shit:
Just as the AMTRI arrived and we could really get
shifted,
In the
Get over there, we’ve an opportunity to test;
I know we’re not ready, but do your best.
Be calm, look confident, don’t appear to flap,
Don’t’ give the game away else we’re all in the crap.
And so, here we are: only 94 days late,
And still, for Stage Zero, in an unready state.
From a management perspective, we’re on a fine line,
Having spent all the money, as well as the time.
“On Dock Date” now predicted as 6 months late
Which, for a 12 month project, isn’t a healthy state.
So the time is right to give my career a boost,
And depart before all the chickens come home to
roost.
Kongsberg have been, Kongsberg
have gone,
CENIT, Steve and Dave continue to soldier on.
But, from now, if you’ve any questions at all
Best you ask my successor, Programme Manager, Paul.
So, farewell my friends, we’ve had a laugh,
And now I’m off for the early bath:
Grasping one lifebelt to salvage my soul
Which is the fact that
We still wait for someone
To actually define a hole!
Rogan
Saturday 31st December – Falcons v. Fledglings
A real youth versus experience treat in store here! The Fledglings made
up of former Senators and their sons versus those too old to be Senators. An
Ricardo
Mighty Robbo
Groff Billers Humph
Henn JPAR Huggie
HG Rogues
PJ on the whistle.
Ricardo was still suffering from his Wednesday relapse whilst away in
Studland, Rogues having had a steady night at The Vine. TV had disgraced itself
Xmas eve by calling last orders on a packed house of locals at
Fledglings were featuring Ferret, Boggs, Silman, Kingie, Dunlow and
Sobes along with some useful youth. Thus a 6 – 3 scoreline was no great
surprise with HG, Huggie and Rogues scoring for the Falcons. An early
retirement to the bar to concentrate on the Ruddles allowed for time to prepare
for the evening festivities.
New Years Eve was supposed to feature early evening drinks at a house
en-route to the final destination, somewhat similar to 12 months ago. At that
time a “house crawl “ had been proposed by Nick Harris, starting with him, then
to The Night Mayor, then to Rogues before ending at The B & RA. However,
one way or another, everyone just came to me.
This year we were headed in the opposite direction, to Ricardo’s. Thus
Nick had said that, definitely this year, he would host en-route drinks. Having
then taken stock of the potential numbers headed for Ricardo’s he had planned
to put up a table on the front lawn with drinks in plastic cups for consuming
as one passed – shades of the marathon! However, once again the potential cost
that this could involve hit him mid 5 a side football, causing him to loose
concentration, step on the ball and break his ankle. Having set, then re-set,
then operated and plated said ankle he was confined to a wheel chair supplied
by Lady Lyn from which he commentated from the KasStad on the United match New
Years Eve. This rendered him out of commission for drinks that evening. We
planned to take his wheel chair to Ricardo’s allowing his wife, Shelia, to
bring him, seat him in a corner, then take him away. This would then enable the
For some strange reason the
Falcons “Mid Term” Report
Unusual sightings this season so far:
Hughbie in the kitchen
Henn washing up
Mighty approaching oppo 25 yard line
PJ scoring
Robbo scoring
Huggie running
Clean sheet
Overall playing record season so far:-
Played 16, won 6, drawn 4, lost 6, scored 40, conceded 42.
League position:
Played
Wokingham 9 22 2.44
Reading 10 19 1.9
Polytechnic 10 16 1.6
Amersham 9 12 1.33
Oxted 9 6 0.67
Epsom 7 4 0.57
Havant 8 2 0.25
Remaining league matches, in order:-
|
|
|
|
|
Epsom Vagabonds |
|
Havant Cavaliers |
|
|
|
|
|
Oxted Vintage Moonshiners |
|
|
|
Polytechnic |
|
|
|
|
Player cast list/abbreviations explained for those bewildered:-
Nickname Derivation Name
Ricardo}
CSW } Clean Sheet Wilsdon Richard
Wilsdon
Mighty Mike
Kentfield
Robbo Dave
Robson
RA Richard
Allen
PJ }
The Pope} (previous one!) Peter Wilson
Blommers Dave
Blomley
Ellio }
Super Tanker } his turning circle John
Elliot
Billers Chris
Billington
Groff Steve
Griffiths
HG} Haven’t Got a Kaluza
H } John Kaluza
Humph Humphrey
Battcock
Sobes Ian
Sobey
Henn Tony
Henman
PC Peter
Curtis
DC David
Cole
Huggie Dave
Hughes
JPAR Julian, Patrick, Arthur Paddy Roche
Twizzle goes round and round Nick Bailey
OW Old Waynflete old boy of
MCS
Crampers Mark
Crampton Smith
Rogues Rogan
Meadows
Breezie Paul
Breeze
GTC
Welly David
Wells
Hughbie Hugh
Bentley
The Barron John
Barron
Other abbreviations:
HBI Horace Batchelor
Infradraw substitute method
TWH The White Hart
(Fyfield)
B & RA Bear and Ragged
Staff/Arse
TV The Vine
PAH Plough At Hanney
GE General Elliot,
Fishes The Fishes,
And finally,
Those who have not yet bought their copy of the Hawks club calendar – I
strongly recommend you get to the Club House and shell out £12 which is then
shared between the club and the Daniels Dream Project charity. I can now see
the attractions of training at NOSC and look forward to the seniors version
next year. By the way, I am interested to know how many people from the mens
side of the club can put names to those featured in March,
and how come they can recognize them!?!?
Happy New Year to you all.
Thanks to
Meantime, yours truly was enjoying life “on the bench” from a work
perspective. Having handed over responsibility for my Filton project to another
it is now my responsibility to search out something else to occupy, and pay
for, my time within CSC. Before I had even logged onto our company intranet
site to look at the “sit. vac.” List I had some overly keen individual on the
phone wanting me to go and work with them at BAE HQ in Farnborough implementing
HQ type applications around the BAE parish.
Could be OK, but could be boring. Anyway, why rush? Lets take some time
and look around, especially as the
And by the time Saturday arrived a couple of more interesting options
were floating around, so I felt good. A final Friday night in The Vine (B &
RA about to re-open) consuming reasonable quantities of good quality Adnams was
settled by a nice walk with the dog by the river Saturday morning, brunch then
off to Cutteslowe to see what sort of squad we had. Phone calls from Ellio
(trying to see if he had been given an earlier meet time than anyone else – why
would we do that!!!???) and from Twizzle to say he was going direct, but where
was he going? There had also been last minute calls from
Ricardo
Mighty Robbo
Ellio Billers Blommers
PC JPAR Huggie
Groff Rogues
With Twizzle starting on the bench and PJ whistling.
We had the Horace Bachelor Infradraw subs system in full working order
for the first 15 minutes, then the wheels started to drop off as bodies
crumbled. First JPAR succumbed to something, then Ellio at half time, then PC
mid way through second half. (It should be noted that those of us who put our
bodies through the rigours of regular training seem to avoid these on pitch
collapses and even to manage two times a weekend, on occasion.)Thus, at times
we were down to ten, or nine and a bit. Luckily, by half time Groff had got one
and Huggie two and Ricardo started the year with a clean sheet. Their excellent
beer was not matched by their fodder, and an early departure was made to allow
me to join
So , good start to 2006 league season with a clean sheet and 3 points,
but the real test of the squad comes next week when we have a league match on
Saturday and a cup match Sunday. Will we get eleven onto the park, let alone
eleven to finish? We shall see.
Weekend 21st/22nd
Jan –
One way or another I believe I forgot to mention an excellent Adastral
Training Squad monthly meeting held at the Oxford Arms, Kirtlington on 8th
Jan. Roadworks and accidents combined to send attendees scattered to all
quarters of the county with plaintiff mobile phone calls asking where was the
Oxford Arms how to get to Kirtlington from
The build up to our double header was fairly hectic. The
An early night followed as there was an early start Monday to take DOHA
with No1 Daughter plus PDIL (Potential Daughter In Law) to catch the 04:00
coach to Gatwick for their trip to the Red Sea for a girls week in the sun.
This duly accomplished I was left with a peaceful week “on the bench” work wise
but busy following up opportunities whilst I minded the house and the dog –
phew! Quiet start to week (Mon/Tue) followed by the long awaited re-opening of
the B&RA Wednesday night. Excellent. The bar area is pretty much just as it
was, but the beer quality appears to be benefiting from the new “plumbing” and
cellar area. Ne management appear to welcome drinkers as well as having a new
kitchen and enlarged restaurant for eaters. However food was not commencing
until this week, so nothing to report yet. Wednesday night was great. There
were lots of faces not seen since the Bear closed. Thursday I was tempted out
by Ricardo and we sampled a couple of quiet pints a TWH (plenty of diners, no
other drinkers) before returning to the Bear to check that the quality of IPA
was sustained. It was, and still was when we enjoyed a “traditional” Friday
night gathering back at B&RA base. Great!
No1 son had agreed to walk the dog Saturday and Sunday in return for me
buying some beer Saturday night. This left me free to concentrate on hockey preparations
(leisurely awake, coffee, brunch) for our
Ricardo
Mighty PJ
Blommers Billers Groff
Henn Gropes GMH
Twizzle Rogues
With Robbo coming on for PJ at half time, Hughbie on the whistle.
Henns appearance was a pleasant surprise, but given events earlier in
the week in “Oz” not entirely unexpected. We played some nice hockey and racked
up six goals, with Twizzle getting 3 and buying a jug. GM Huggie (GM stands for
Goal Machine, not Genetically Modified, I think) got the inevitable 1 whilst it
was very good to have Gropes back providing some bite in mid field/attack. We
managed to end up with only PJ and Billers hobbling. The Jimmy Riddles and KC
were well received before back out to the pitch to witness Hawks doing the
double over
Then off home for a spot of rugby on the telly before taking No 1 Son
and PSIL to the Bear, then the cricket club for our “warm down”. I left them to
it at
Ricardo
Mighty Robbo
JPAR Sobes Billers
Henn Kylie PC
MCS Rogues
With The Baron and Richard Smart on the bench.
By half time we had scored 6, had 4 allowed and lost Billers and PC to
muscle strains. Second half we lost 3-2, running out 6-3 winners. We definitely
benefited for their lack of a proper keeper. They were gracious in defeat and
we retired to NOSC for an excellent meal from Jan. Many, many thanks Jan.
So,
Saturday 28th
January – Epsom cried off!
It is extremely frustrating for our organizer to have a side cry off
half way through the week, despite our volunteering to provide them with extra
players if they will travel. Thus it was with Epsom. Thus, what was destined to
be a quiet week for me turned into a gloomy one as well with no hockey in
prospect. And worse was to come: as a result of our not playing we dropped from
3rd in the league to 4th with
Mind you, a couple of us, not completely enthused with the prospect of
watching the Ladies “1’s” play at home at 12:00 volunteered to help out
Wokingham who were short of a keeper and left wing to play Winchester. Thus
Ricardo and Rogues shot off to
They re-took the initiative and forced Ricardo into giving away a PF
from which they scored. And that was it, honours even, but the better side had
the most chances and should have won. Did we do Falcons any favours? Probably
not in the result sense as a win for
Saturday 4th
February – Havant away.
Busy week. Monday featured the official
opening night for the Bear & Ragged and, as I had penned a pome, I was
invited. Accompanied by the
After some time mingling and refreshing
glasses a buffet emerged from the kitchen. Very tasty. We proceeded to inspect
the kitchen which is brand new – building and fittings. Eventually a few words
of greeting and mutual congratulation were spoken by Robert and Mr Greene King
before I lowered the tone with my pome. Robert seemed to enjoy it, and invited
me along the next night when a more informal repeat was planned for the village
locals. One lady requested and received a signed copy!
So, Tuesday night, and I was back at the
Bear bar surrounded by all those who used to populate the place before it
closed. It was a good evening and the pome, with added material from the
previous night, was read once again.
Owing to the efficiency of Land Rover to
raise paper work I continued to enjoy a leisurely existence during the day
time, walking the dog, keeping an eye on E-mails and putting in the odd
appearance at the office to blow dust off the desk. After two busy nights it
was good to have two nights in before Friday arrived and the weekly training
commenced. To date the B&RA appears to be not too particular about closing
an a Friday meaning we are back to not going home the same day we arrive – this
we like. Saturday morning saw the
Consequently we lined up:
Ricardo
Mighty
Robbo
Blommers
Billers Humph
Henn
Twizzle GMH Crampers
Rogues
with Smartie on the whistle 1st
half, swapping with Crampers for the 2nd. PJ had stayed at home hoping
to watch
Havant were an odd lot. They had some good
hockey players in their line up but appeared to be looking for an elderly
“gentlemans” game of hockey. By this I mean that they did not appreciate a side
who competed for every ball and who went hard for goal. Apparently, they
informed us during the game, no-one wants to play us ‘cos we are too keen to
win. In defence they did not seem to think of marking anyone. Consequently,
once GMH (Goal Machine Huggie) had realized he could not avoid a jug, we were 4
– 0 up at half time. They featured briefly at the start of the second and we
did our best to avoid a clean sheet. However Ricardo prevailed, Huggie got two
more and that was that: 6 – 0, but not really satisfying.
Even less satisfying when we emerged from
the changing rooms to find we had been abandoned at
We need to keep winning if we want to make
the top three.
Saturday
11th Feb –
Last Saturday we dashed back from Havant
to ensure a timely attendance at a 50th birthday party in Cumnor Old
School with a Disney fancy dress theme – very good fun. However, the
Sunday proved something of a day of plenty
on the food front. We had arranged to take Ben and Fran out for lunch to
celebrate their joint birthdays and had a very good carvery at The Doghouse,
Frilford Heath with not too many kids screaming around the place. A couple of
pints of Guiness, good food and rugby on the telly meant that the afternoon
passed rapidly and then we were off to “Adastral Training” at the Red Lion,
Chieveley for a second visit of the weekend, having stopped there for a quickie
en route from Havant. Well worth the effort! Excellent beer, excellent food,
excellent service – take note! It takes some finding around the interchange but
you shouldn’t miss the opportunity!
The rest of the week meandered peacefully
past and, on Friday afternoon, we joined 30
or so others on a coach from Cumnor Cricket Club to
Road works delayed our return from Woking
Saturday evening and, with Ricardo under orders, we only had time for a very
swift pint at East Ilsley, planning some more in the club house once we had
decanted Ricardo. No joy there – club house was closed, so straight home and
then off to Marmalade in the old jam factory for Frans birthday bash. Lots of
young things around drinking their trendy lagers etc. Thankfully the cans of
Guinness just lasted the distance, as did my legs having been standing up all
night!
And that’s another week gone. Hockey?
Well, we lined up:
Rivcardo
Mighty
PJ
Blommers
Billers The Baron
Crampers
Smartie GMH Humph
Rogues
With Robbo on the whistle and swapping
with PJ at half time.
Having spent 90% of match in their D and
had 350 short corners we lost 3-1. Say no more.
Sat
18/02/06 –
Given the relative abstinence of last week
and the match result Ricardo and I put in some additional training at TWH and
The 8 Bells on Thursday, followed by a decent session Friday at the B&RA.
This enabled a relaxed start to Saturday dog walking beside the river before
lunch, then arriving at NOSC in time to admire the Ladies “1s” as they disposed
of
We had a cast of thousands to contend
with, despite the late withdrawal of Robbie. A game of two halves ensued with
us lining up:
Ricardo
Mighty
Blommers
PJ
Billers RA
Smartie
Twizzle GMH Crampers
Rogues
With Hugh back in from the cold whistling.
Second half saw The Baron, Henn and PC
take to the park replacing PJ, GMH and Rogues with some remixing of positions.
As usual the remixing proved too much for us and our performance fell away
having won the 1st half with goals from GMH, Crampers and PJ.
Ricardo and Rogues retired with spouses to
complete their warm down in the B&RA and a shapeless mixed side lost out in
the cup to Eastcote on a chilly and windy Sunday in rather more comprehensive
fashion than the mens “1s” at Indian Gym.
Don’t forget, folks, the Club Dinner on 18th
March and get your tickets through your team captain.
Sat
25th & Sun 26th Feb: Oxted & England LX at home.
Traumatic week for yours truly!. The
company for whom I work eventually received an order from Land Rover who are
buying my body for the next 12 weeks. That meant that, having been sitting “on
the bench” since 16th December, I was now back at work. Land Rover
are gradually being subsumed by Ford. The next step in this process is to
replace the Bill Of Material system that defines all the structures (e.g.
engine, body, electrics etc) and parts therein that make up each type of
vehicle with the standard Ford version. No problem, one would think, as they
all talk in terms of part numbers that are bought in and/or made internally.
Not quite true. Not all made in components have a part number. For example:
vehicle bare metal body. There could be several variants: 2 or 4 door, sun roof
or no sun roof, left or right hand drive, saloon, estate, etc etc., but no-one
has ever given each variant a part number. They have always been identified
using feature codes and the coding system used by WERS is completely different
from that used today.
And this is where I come in. I have to
find a way of enabling WERS to be introduced without replacing all downstream
systems, and by minimizing the impact upon them. By “minimising the impact”
they mean that they want to get all the changes done, tested and implemented
within 12 months and I have 12 weeks to design and document the solution.
Consequently, with a week of early
mornings and being bombarded with information all day, training was kept to a
minimum, indeed to Friday night. We “snowballed” down the road picking up
individuals en-route and arriving circa
Saturday dawned cold and windy. Dog
walking by the river was enjoyable as we were sheltered from the wind much of
the way around by the banks of Farmoor reservoir. A quick brunch and then off
to a busy BRN to redirect any Oxted players to
Ricardo
PJ
The Baron
Blommers
Billers RA
Henn
Groff Humph PC
Rogues
With Robbo and Mighty umpiring and
Crampers on the bench.
Second half saw Mighty replacing The Baron
and Crampers replacing Rogues with PC moving to the wing. In due course Rogues
replaced PC. All very efficient.
We won with Groff getting two, Humph,
Crampers and PJ getting one each and, during discussions regarding who was
going to run out in what order for their 1st short corner, we let
one in.
Parking at NOSC was pretty chaotic, but
the Jimmy Riddles and KC was very well received by Oxted who proved a very
personable bunch. The mens “1s” were doing rather better against Havant than
earlier in the season, according to reports received (it was too bloody cold to
tear ourselves away from the Jimmy Riddles), coming back to 2 – 2 from 2 – 0
down, only to concede two more. Eventually Oxted departed leaving us to
contemplate the remainder of the weekend and our game against the England Over
60’s (LX) on Sunday. Owing, once again to shrinkage, it was looking
increasingly likely that there would be no need for the Horace Bachelor
Infradraw process. And so we departed.
And went to the cricket club to watch
We had been promised 3 periods of 20
minutes to give the LX opportunity to try out various combinations. Our
“combinations” were limited as we only had 9 Falcons, HG plus a mate of
Clarkies who was trying to make the LX squad. We lined up:
Ricardo
Mighty
Blommers
PJ
Sobes Billers
Crampers
JPAR MOC (Mate Of Clarkies) HG
Rogues
With Robbie and Judy blowing.
We played for 30 minutes and were two nil
down. They rearranged, we rearranged, we changed ends. Sobes moved to left
inner, Billers to CH and HG to LH. We played for 30 minutes and ended 4 – 2 up!
Rogues, Sobes, and MOC (2). They rearranged, we didn’t, we changed ends and
played another 30 minutes. Our right hand side “engine room” (inside right and
right half) were visibly crumbling by now, but Billers was masterly in the
middle. However, Ricardo came storming out and the inevitable PF was awarded
probably long before he got anywhere near anything and, with them scoring
another we ended with a hard earned 4 – 4 draw.
It was pointed out that perhaps the third
30 minute “half” should, itself, have been split to let us have a second period
of playing with the slope and with the wind at our back as all 8 goals were
scored at the clubhouse end!
Never mind. We hobbled through the showers
and to the club house, enjoyed a good meal and made good use of the “free vend”
at the bar whilst admiring the stuffing being given to
Saturday
4th March –
Well, it was a good week for the
I watched a hunting, shooting and fishing
programme on Beeb 2 (
Following Tuesdays momentous decision, it
was more of the chops on Wednesday, more tele watching before a more controlled
departure for bed, meaning that it was sausages on Thursday. Isn’t life
exciting! Then the
Despite the cold weather the sun meant
that it was absolutely delightful walking the dog by the river Friday afternoon
and Saturday morning prior to our
Ricardo
Mighty
The Baron
Groff
Billers RA
PC
Twizzle Crampers Smartie
Rogues
With PJ whistling.
A combination of good saves and not so
good finishing meant that, with a minute to go, a draw looked likely and the
least we deserved. Then they got their first short corner of the second half.
“Remember what we said at half time”
shouted their keeper and they duly repeated their first half short corner ploy
which, at the time, had greatly upset Ricardo (will not repeat the precise words
here!) but had been spotted by the umpire resulting in a hit to us. Not so in
the second half! It succeeded and they had done the double over us, as it
proved the last hit of the match.
Do we feel cheated? Is it a valid tactic?
If the latter, best we adopt it as our conversion rate at shorties is pretty
chronic. To adopt it we need to bring Mighty up for shorts and have him run
directly at the oppo. keeper, if necessary taking out the outcoming
defender, and ensure that he keeps close
to the keeper and maintains a position between keeper and ball but with no
intent on having anything to do with the ball. We were not impressed, Ricardo
less impressed than the rest of us! He was reminded there is only one F in
Falcons, and none in
Sunday provided another perfect day for
the
Saturday
11th March – Polytechnic away.
Funny old week, this week. Up and down to
Thus it was on a very rainy Wednesday
morning at the roundabout just off the M42,
Mid morning on Wednesday I receive a
telephone call from Sue Delahaye who manages all orders and billing with Land
Rover and, therefore, deals with my order. She is a very attractive “girl” who
has been with the company for years. We exchange pleasantries and she asks
where I am. I advise her I am at
Not at Lansdown Gate, then, she says.
No, why, I reply.
Because that is where I thought you were
going, she says.
How come, I ask.
Because it was me you ran into this
morning, she announces.
Another ambition realized: I have made it,
up Sue “Ds” rear!
After the end of match “explosion” at
(rather than an outfield player filling
in!) just in case you thought I might be being unkind to Ricardo!
Meantime, on the hockey front, Polytechnic
were being their usual difficult selves. Last time around, when due to come to
us, they announced they were short, we got them 3 extras, and they turned up
with 12. This time they were trying to shake us off by re-arranging and
re-re-arranging the venue and time. Linford Christie Stadium at
Miraculously this did not shake anyone off
and, after much telecommunication and messaging we all arrived on time to line
up:
TomBog (Tom Biggs)
Mighty
The Baron
Groff
Billers RA
Henn
Sobes GMH Smartie
Rogues
With Hughbie whistling and PC and Robbo
ready to interchange in the forwards/full backs as appropriate.
Huggie scored one of his typical poachers
efforts, their centre forward scored the goal of the match, Sobes was always
threatening and causing them problems, but, as usual, not getting all of the
protection he deserves from the umpire. Half time came, we, apart from The Baron,
ignored the liquid refreshment proffered, and found ourselves very much on the
receiving end in the second half. TomBog kept us in it right up to the end, at
which point they were awarded a short corner and many of us thought a repeat of
last week might be on the cards. But we survived, and then we broke away up
field and Smartie dribbled into the circle and dummied their keeper into
thinking he was going to “cream it”, and bobbled one past him. This time it was
the oppo who only had time to push back before the whistle went……and we had
stolen the points!
They were good hosts in the pub over the
road, and then it was time to make our way home. PC decided to ignore RogNav,
forgetting that the A40 goes both ways, and duly took us up towards the
With Reading also winning it means we are
still in 4th place but should have some space between ourselves and
Poly as a result. We are also in a “pivotal” stage of the season having won 13
matches and failed to win 13 matches to date. Good to see the “1s” coming back from 0 – 1 down to beat Barford
Tigers 2 – 1 on Sunday and it certainly wasn’t worth rushing home for the
rugby. Murdered by
Saturday
18th March –
First and
foremost, the Falcons send "Congratulations" to the Ladies first
eleven on their promotion.
Mighty Mike reporting, in the absence of our roving reporter - He having
decided that with all the Irish over here celebrating Cheltenham, the safest
place to celebrate St. Patrick's Day would be Dublin, more, no doubt, from
himself about that later.
Monday
Billers is worried, he thinks we're going to struggle to get an 11 out
for our forthcoming home match. He's especially worried as he'll be 'out of
office' for Wednesday & Thursday and with the Pope still incommunicado
there won't be much time to sort things out.
Friday
The final team list if, that is, anything relating to the Falcons, can
be deemed final is published. Although not a cast of thousands it appears that
initial worries were unnecessary we have a squad of fourteen. Twizzle cutting
short his Italian sojourn because he thought we'd be struggling.
Saturday dawned bright and breezy, which was fine, except that we were
in our "brass monkey" slot of 3.30 so the chances of it still being
a) bright - Negligible & b) breezy - Odds on cert.
I arrived early, about 1.15 to be precise - 'H' claiming that he needed
my help to quell the massed assault of the Senators and their opposition on the
bar. Duty done I escaped in time to watch the second half of the Ladies First
Eleven's demolition of Witney thus securing their aforementioned promotion.
All goes well they are 11 and after much pontificating from the Pope we
line up
Ricardo
Blommers The Baron
PJ Billers Humpf
Twizzle Grof
Hen Huggy PC
With Mighty & Sobes on the bench
Umpires - Hughbie & Crampers
A good start is made by us, we've got our "lets play possession
hockey" heads on. After 10 minutes a full length dive from Huggy connects
with a pass from the left - 1-0 Falcons, a few minutes later PC crashes in a
close range shot - 2-0
The consistent pressure begins to tell on the
Half time and PJ rings the changes, the most important being swap Sobes
for the Baron, so we lined up for the second half as
Ricardo
Mighty Blommers
Grof Billers Humpf
Twizzle Sobes
Hen Huggy PC
Crampers should have come on, but he decided he was having more fun with
the whistle - He must have been doing something right, Huggy only questioned
one of his decisions in the second half.
We decide, for a change, to continue with keeping possession of the ball
- Not that
As always the KC was up to standard as was
the Jimmy Riddles [Jugs from Huggy - hat trick & Ricardo - clean sheet]. A
late substitution saw me back behind the bar [H having to go off and change
into his party frock] -
Mighty.
Meantime, our usual reporter reports:-
I am not sure
who, originally, suggested
Flights with Aer Arann were booked and hotel accomodation secured at the
Ambassador Hotel,
Up with the alarm and on the road at
These were the first words that greeted us and caused considerable
mirth. It appeared the cause of this comment was not that he didn't know where
the hotel was and not because it was an awful hotel, but because the route to
it was across town and the raods had just closed to accomodate the St Patricks
Day parade. A circuitous route eventually ended what felt like half way up a
mountainous area of
We made our exit after one or two more and went in search of soup and
sandwiches, then one or two more as we headed up hill to the hotel. We
discovered that this ascent had one thing missing: necessary shelter for
refuelling part way up. We gasped our way into hotel reception and set off
following directions to our rooms. We got lost, scattered, found each other
again and returned to reception to start again. One has to go up to 1st floor
in lift, turn left then left again, along a corridor, take lift to 1st floor,
exit lift and rooms are on left. Got it
- found it! Very large and
luxorious but no time to admire, time to hit the slopes back down to town. Lots
of girls in T shirts in first bar of the evening providing a pretty good floor
show, but mustn't stay too long as we need to eat. The reccomended steak
restaurant appears to have disappeared since the reccomender last ate their so
have to find place for ourselves. This calls for considerable market research
involving looking at menus whilst drinking. Eventually Caseys is selected and
large hunks of rare meat ordered and consumed before setting off in search of
live music.
Again a difficult quest as those with the best music were already more
than full (lengthy queues) and, eventually we ended up in Caseys bar area which
was really rocking.........and those T shirts were here again! Yes, rocking,
not your Irish didly didly music but, by now, we were passed caring. Eventually
the group stopped and a DJ took over, and we departed, heading back across the
river before stopping at base camp ready for the final asault on the ascent.
Once back at the hotel, and once capable of speech, we found that the night
porter was a real character more than willing to keep pouring Guinness and Jamesons........and
so to bed.
Good start to Saturday, despite a gale blowing outside. On route to
breakfast I suggested to James he take the lift whilst I took the stairs, and
he did. However, as we were on the main 1st floor the lift he took only went one
way - up to the annex 1st floor and he found himself rather confused back
outside the bedroom he had just left. Breakfast was excellent - full Irish -
but then what to do before the rugby started? Far too early to hit the bars (
The Guinness slipped down and we
sympathised with
We made a swift, discrete, departure only
to discover that it was too late to go anywhere else, all having closed.
Nothing for it but flog up that hill with no defuelling stops and gasp our way
back into the hotel bar where our favourite night porter was on good form. One
final one and it was bed time, if we could remember where we had left it, or
was it right it?
Sunday dawned sunny, but still with a
breeze. To occupy time between breakfast and take off (
We have one game left in the league –
Saturday
25th March –
Our last league match, our chance to
consolidate 3rd position in the league (our ambition for the season,
having won the league for last 3years, was to finish in the top 3), and the
opportunity to make
It was a high noon start, consequently we
were meeting at
We duly assembled at the service area, got
ourselves organized into cars and set off with our maps. We arrived in very
good time. We were lining up:
Ricardo
Blommers
JB
PJ
Billers Humph
JPAR
Twizzle GMH Groff
Rogues
With Hughbie umpiring and Mighty and Robbo
on the bench, coming on for PJ and Humph at half time.
It is interesting to get another
perspective on the match and we have this from Wimbledons web site:
This was the first time that we had entertained
faces, including P.J.Wilson, but no Henman. The opening twenty minutes
proved to be a nightmare. It was far from clear who was supposed to be marking
who; not helped by the Hawks posting a forward deep in the Nightmares’ half,
thereby effectively taking a defender out of the game. The Hawks capitalised on
this and relentlessly attacked the Nightmares’ circle, with few breathing
spaces. After a quarter of an hour of pressure, a goal eventually came, with
the defence in disarray. Things could only get better, and get better they did.
The defence were still troubled by the deep centre forward, but appeared to
have sorted
themselves out with Jeff playing further up the field, leaving Ted Thom
to shepherd the Hawks’ forward. The Nightmares managed to keep the scoreline
down to the single goal at half time and so there was still hope in the camp.
Bob and Chris came on for the second half. The Hawks continued to attack, but
they were not as lively as they had been and the Nightmares slowly began to
look as if they could nick an equaliser.
Richard made some strong runs down the right, but his crosses never
quite met with a Nightmares’ stick. Bob caused a moment of excitement when it
looked as if he had put the ball in the goal from Holliday’s ball to the far
post, but he sportingly owned up to kicking the ball en route. With five
minutes to go, it still seemed possible that the Nightmares could draw level,
with promising moves, especially down the right. Bob was unable to drive the
ball into the circle from the left, as is his custom, because he rarely
received the ball much beyond the halfway line. Brian, restricted greatly to
operating between the halfway line and the 22 metre line, was given little
opportunity to add to his goal tally. The game was sealed when the Hawks scored
their second in the thirty first minute and, to rub it in, a third two minutes
later. Colin was penalised for kicking the ball out deliberately from the
centre of the goal, a skill he was not aware that
he had! This was a disappointing end to the season.
The score did not really reflect the game, as the Nightmares had
doggedly kept the Hawks out, once they had regrouped in defence; in the second
half there were chances, which on another day may well have been
converted into goals. It was good to see Andrew Lang arrive on his
bicycle, but even his presence could not influence the result. There’s no
substitute for class!
Our view of the
game:
We murdered them
for most of the first half. GMH was staying high up the pitch and moving into
spaces for the early ball. Twizzle was making some splendid runs and JPAR was
effective down the right. We got the one goal, they changed around in an
attempt to mark GMH more effectively. This was good as it took one of their
better players out of mid field. We were profligate! GMH spurned a numbero of
openings, Groff bent the crossbar and gave a Volvo driver a “brown trouser”
moment on the far side of the road from the ricochet. We should have been
several goals clear by half time but……………..
They came more
into the game in the second half, albeit we continued to create chances, and be
profligate. JPAR cracked the far post after a lovely dribble, short corners
continued to be subject to too much “fanny”. They scored, but played the
gentleman by owning up to feet. Their keeper gave away a short (I note from
their match report that their keeper possesses a very peculiar view of his positioning:
he believes that he was in the centre of his goal when clearing a ball that
resulted from a dribble in from deep on the right followed by a shot. He was
too good a keeper to be anything other than at the near post, then moved
forward towards the ball and kicked it off the pitch). It was a defining moment
as, from the resultant short, we came up with a Falcons rarity – a clinically
executed goal from a short corner – hit out (JPAR), control ball and shoot into
near corner (Rogues). Moments later Twizzle had got our 3rd and it
was game over.
We repaired to
their sumptuous club house for tea, very good sandwiches and acceptable beer
before heading for home and an early night! Sunday Mothering Day arrangements
meant that, having walked the dog, peeled the potatos and prepared the veg. I
was allowed out to watch the “1s”. I thought they played well but were umpired
out of it by some rather overly zealous sendings off and a non goal completely
changing what had been an even match. Then, on Monday, came the good news by
E-mail. It looks like Henley did us a good turn by beating Wokingham on
Saturday enabling us to finish the league in second place, with Reading just
behind us and Wokingham just behind Reading. Woking Pitts The Youngers were
clear winners as we had predicted when we faced them in early October (our 2nd
league match) and got thrashed.
So now we have
some friendlies (Chippenham, Olton & West Warwick, Ancient A’s) and a Plate
match (Chesterfield) to look forward to as we “warm down” into summer. The
league has proved a resounding success in providing good, friendly but
competitive hockey for us despite our ending up in our lowest ever position!
Still, after the last 3 seasons on top, there was only one way to go!
Saturday 1st April – Chippenham
away.
April Fools Day,
and it felt a bit like the end of term.
There was not that sense of real determination about the proceedings. We
met at The B&RA at high noon. This meant that, in the 12 hours since I had
left I had had a good nights sleep, followed by a pleasant riverside walk with
JTD (Jim The Dog), before cooking breakfast for the D)HA and myself: scrambled
eggs on toast.
Considerable
shrinkage in numbers had taken place over the preceding 36 hours with the
result that we were now down to the bare eleven and no umpire. All were present
with the exception of Robbo. Being one of these non tech. type people he has no
mobile. We tried ringing him at home confident that he was stuck in the A34
traffic. He answered the phone! Oh dear, not good news! He was suffering from a
touch of the “Mike Baldwins” (ref.
So, we now had a
line up as follows:
Ricardo
Mighty PJ The Baron
Blommers Billers
Humph
Our Guest GMH
Crampers Rogues
Yes, things were
complex. Our Chief Tactician had determined that we would play one just in
front of the fullbacks, leaving only 4 upfield maximum. We managed to borrow a
player, so that was how we started. And we started well for the first 10
minutes. We spurned a number of chances before, post short corner fanny, PJ
scored. Chippenham do not normally play veterans hockey, and did not have a
team of veterans. They gradually started to play in the way their captain was
exhorting and took charge of the game. Despite some valiant attempts down the
right by “Our Guest” who was doing a good Henn impression, we fell behind. We did
get a second by the “alternative short corner approach”: no fanny, just hit it
out, control it and shoot, but Chippenham got a few more. We trooped off 5 – 2
down.
We admired their
new clubhouse whilst enjoying some good 6X and sausages and chips before making
our way home in good time for our dinner that evening. 28 of us sat down to a
very well managed meal at the B&RA with a respectable amount of drink being
consumed. Very convivial.
Copies of our
final league record were given out, but most of the old men present did not
have good enough eye sight to see what they were looking at. Thankfully Robbo
was going through one of his lucid patches and turned up in a timely fashion!
Our end of season
league table:-
Sunday 9th April – Vintage
Plate Quarter Final:
Funny old
competition, the Vintage Plate. Vintage = over 50, we are. Entry to this “plate”
competition is for sides who lost in their first game in the Vintage Cup. And
we did. Whilst we had a bye in the 1st round, we were drawn against
We were drawn at
home to Leeds Adel Metropolitan (to give them their formal name) in the Plate 1st Round. Thankfully there
are more letters in their name than players in their squad and we won 6-2. We
then drew
We were drawn
away to
- he knew where
- he was able to get in
some valuable last minute training
- he was able to locate
his near post before a ball went past it.
The remainder of
us dispersed ourselves into three cars and set off in the direction of the M1
and, eventually, a stop for refreshment at Donnington. A text message to this
effect to Ricardo sent him into panic mode as he (naturally) thought we meant
Donnington Brewery, not Donnington,
We talked through
line ups and tactics. We had thirteen players and, thus, a substitution plan.
However, we also had a number of players carrying injuries and anyone could
“blow up” at any time ruining the plans. But we had plans for subbing, for
attacking shorts and for defending shorts.
We planned to
line up:
Ricardo
Mighty The Baron
PJ Billers
Crampers
Henn JPAR
Smartie Sobes Rogues
With Robbo
swapping with the back two such that they did a third of a game off each, and
PC doing the same with Rogues and Henn. That was the plan, would the walking
wounded survive, could we keep out his side who scored 12 last time they played
in this competition?
We struggled to
get out of our half and stay out. We were certainly trying to keep it tight at
the back with Sobes starting by lying deep. We gradually recognized where the
main dangers came from and started to exert some pressure ourselves. It wasn’t
too long before they recognized the danger of Sobes having the ball but we only
managed one short corner in this half. They created more chances but Ricardo
was on top form and they weren’t.
Again, they
started off the stronger in the second half but were profligate in front of
goal. Ricardo continued to keep us afloat and we gradually stepped up the
pressure. They were becoming frustrated and using anything and everything to
stop Sobes. With only minutes to go a visionary through ball from PJ found
Smartie unmarked on the edge of the circle and he made the most of this rare
opportunity. And that was it, we had stolen the match and we were rather
pleased with ourselves.
They entertained
us well with excellent Black Sheep, soup and roast beef before we headed
jubilantly for home. We await news of whom we will face in the semi final on
Sunday 23rd April and enter in to negotiations with City over
postponing our 22nd match to a future date to protect our walking
wounded and maximize our chances. We really want a home draw so that we can
ensure JPAR is on the park post his managing the U18s that morning. We are not
the same without him.
The other quarter
finals were:
New Beccehamians
v
Old Wulfrunians v
Ashford
Watch this space.
Weekend 22nd/23rd
April –
Considering the
fact that, having won our Plate match on the 9th and the next round
was on the 23rd, and Easter weekend was in between, we expected to
hear promptly whom we had to face. Wrong! It was nearly the end of the week
before the draw was announced (Thursday) and we discovered the worst: away to
Easter, these
days for most of us “oldies”, is conducted at a leisurely, stay at home pace.
There are exceptions (e.g. The Baron) but I leave it to the youth to maintain
that ages old tradition of getting completely rat arsed and play hockey over an
extended weekend. From what I hear of my Godson, the youth of today are doing a
good job maintaining the tradition, but demonstrate a certain immaturity which,
at 17, I suppose is understandable. I am sure they will learn that one can have
a very good, long night, drinking steadily without these peculiar mixtures that
lead to an effective makeover of the area within throwing distance!
Consequently it
was a relatively quiet Easter Friday at the B & RA, a pleasant drink at TWH
on Saturday and then an early departure on Monday to the West Country for the
“dogs holiday”. Four nights self catering on the outskirts of Port Isaac.
Superb. I was last down this way in February 2002 for the weekend and missing
an encounter with
Owing to the
early start we were on the cliff tops at Sandymouth, north of Bude, by
lunchtime Monday enjoying a bracing wind and sunshine. Lunch of Cornish pastie
in the NT café was followed by a walk along the beach. Sandymouth is one of my
favourite beaches having long stretches of glorious sand when the tide is out
with plentiful areas of rock pools and splendid surf when the waves are
rolling. They weren’t on Monday, but the walk along the beach and back was
enjoyed by Pat and I and Jim the dog. Then it was off down the coast to Port
Isaac and the lodge we had for the four nights on a farm. Excellent. Two
bedrooms, patio, views over Port Gaverne. Quickly settled and then consult the
Good Pub Guide for supper. Should have booked! They squeezed us in and we
enjoyed excellent meal at St Kews.
Tuesday dawned
grey and breezy so off we went to Rock to walk along the beach and round to
Friday afternoon
saw us back home and the lawn being mowed before it was time for net practice
for the Hobos (
With no match on
Saturday I was able to walk the dog gently by the river before some lunch, some
football and then some cricket at CCC: watching! Then an early night, lie in
Sunday, cooked breakfast and up to NOSC with Ricardo to check on the U18s and
their management. They were not on good form! We informed Henn that four of us
would depart from NOSC as soon as management allowed and go direct to
Ricardo
Mighty Humph
PJ Billers
Crampers
Henn JPAR
Smartie Sobes Rogues
With PC and JB
coming on after 23 minutes to facilitate revolving wings and fullbacks.
Lets just say we
started both halves strongly, and conceded 3 goals in each. Our two attempts to
trouble their keeper failed: one creamer from JPAR, headed for the top corner,
took Smartie out instead, the other from Sobes rebounded off the post and was
cleared. Ricard played well but still fished the ball out of the net 6 times.
Their showers were the best of the season, Sunday roast was very good, beer
acceptable. The route home was briefly interrupted for a couple at the
Chequers, Weston OTG and our cup run ith over. We console ourselves with the
thought that, had we won, we would have had to be at
Saturday 29th April – City Of
After the
delights of
I dutifully
reported at my current
This also provided
the opportunity for reviewing selection for the forthcoming Falcons challenge
match: Ancient “A”s v. Falcons, or the Meadows Memorial match, depending upon
whom you speak to. Team selection for the Ancient “A”s was problematical. There
are plenty of ex Adastral players around, but too many of these have “the legs”
on Falcons and I do not want to bury them at the great Friday challenge. Thus I
reluctantly consign the likes of Clarke, Boots, Phil Hargrave, and the many
other Hawks/Adastral ex’s to the non playing subs bench and home in on some of
the old lags who haven’t seen a stick in years. Tom Abery, Tony Swann, Colin
Whittle, Steve Christie, Geof Paviour to
name but a few. This should prove interesting, if not fatal!
Meanwhile Olton
& West Warwick appear to have decided that, as they are no longer featuring
in any cups it is not worth continuing with their season so have cried off. Our
good friends, City Of
Very pleasant
walk by the river, leasurely lunch, then off to NOSC. The omens were not good.
City were looking distinctly youthful and the pitch appears to be loosing hair
more rapidly than JPAR. A lot more application of liquid would do a power of
good in both cases! My fears were realized and we were outrun and outplayed and
lost 3 – 1. JPAR scored our consolation. It was very good to see some old
friends and to have Ellio umpiring – and he did arrive before the scheduled
start!
We were:
Ricardo
Mighty The Baron
PJ Sobes
Humph
PC JPAR
Huggie H Rogues.
There was further
evidence of the end of the season in a particularly tastey KC. Presumably Jan
needed to clear out all the chilli powder before the holiday break. Ruddles was
appreciated by all and then it was home in a tactical maneuver to have supper
before taking the DOHA to the cricket club to see how St George was doing.
After an excellent supper we discovered that we had missed the Morris Dancers
(shame!) but the cricket (Cumnor v. Cumnor: team trials) was still taking place
and the beer was still plentiful unless you wanted Guinness. And with a choice
of Spitfire, Waylands Smithie, something Wherry and something else straight out
of the barrel at £2.50 per pint who is interested in Guinness? Andy himSelf stuck
to nothing of note but let his father drink the standard Bombadier. The folk
singers struck up in his right ear so he departed early. We were not late:
So, effectively
the Falcons season is now ended. We have failed to win as many an we have won:
won 16, drawn 5, lost 11. Conceded 71 but scored 88. Leading scorer Huggie with
25 followed by Rogues and Twizzle with 10 each. Two sendings off: PJ and Humph
and 8 clean sheets. We came second in our league but, most importantly, we have
had fun! We have thoroughly enjoyed the hockey, the camaraderie and the warm
downs. We now have some four months in which to repair/prepare for season
2006/2007. Bring it on!
Part 1 of Weekend 5th to 7th
May: Rogan Meadows,
Unfortunately Bank
The plan for the
weekend was to play a game of hockey on the Friday (my birthday) with warm
down, have a party on the Saturday and a cricket match on the Sunday morning
with warm down. The need to break things up in this way was further underlined
when the potential list of party participants far exceeded the capacity of the
function room of Cumnor Cricket Club: scene for the Saturday nighter. If I
wanted to celebrate with everyone I would need to split them up.
So, Fridays
hockey match was supposed to be ancient Adastral men players versus the Falcons
ancient Hawks players. Trouble was, apart from Robson and myself, all other
Ancient “A”s appear to be either dead or long retired. I had thought I might
recruit some from the City team we were playing a week before, but they turned
out to be much too young! So, what should I do. There are lots of ex Adastral
player around that I used to play alongside, trouble is they are rather younger
than me and, therefore, the Falcons. And they have legs! Could be a bit unfair
on the Falcons, so Boots, Andy Clarke, Phil Hargrave and a few others were
passed over in the selection process! Then I discovered that PSF were holding
their dinner dance on the Friday taking Binty (The Pink Panther), AMH etc. out
of the frame. Starting to scratch around now, but the Falcons were also
struggling for numbers. It was going to be very interesting who/what got onto
the park Friday night.
However, the
essentials were organized: H and Mighty had undertaken to run the bar at NOSC,
the materials for half time were purchased, food was commissioned, the weather
was wonderful, the dog had been walked……….now who would turn up.
The Falcons need
little explanation to regular readers. They were (if I can remember, and at my
age this becomes more difficult as I am told I got last weeks score wrong: we
only lost 2 – 1, not 3 – 1)
Ricardo
Mighty JB
PJ Sobes major
Humph
Sobes min H Smartie
Sobes min DC
As you can see,
bit strong on the Sobes front! Good to see DC back in action.
Ancient “A”s were
a bit of a mixture of regular players and those who hadn’t played for years.
They comprised:
FTC (Felix The Cat)
Tom Abery
Dave Robson
John Adsett
Geof Pavour
Tony Swann
Colin Whittle
Paddy Roche
Steve Christie
Paul Brees
John Gent
Martin Hunter
Dave Blomley
Pat Baddeley
Rogues.
We were fortunate
to have the services of Judy Robson and Pauline Swann to umpire and Dave Hughes
to manage the Ancient As bench. And we had loads of spectators – thank you everyone for your support.
Before we got
under way there was a solemn memorial moment at which PJ said some carefully
selected words of valediction and made a presentation on behalf of the Falcons
of a beautifully engraved glass. Normally at a memorial this would feature with
some flowers in it by a grave stone, but this is not a normal memorial and we
do not have Flowers on tap in the club house.
Predictably the
Falcons commanded the first half with the SS (Sobes Squad) featuring strongly.
However, there were some moments from the AAs:
Christies classy
lob of the outrushing Ricardo which deserved a goal, but just cleared the
crossbar
Swannie’s dying
swan dive down the right wing
Colins copying of
the Swan Song
Tom looking as
though he had never been away.
Half time gin and
tonics with a 2 – 0 score line. Plenty of spectators, plenty of G & Ts. The
Falcons eased up, AA’s got a shortie and the push it short to Rogues resulted
in a rather open goal (I think the Falcons were headed for the G & Ts
again). That should have been job done: Rogues got his birthday goal, Rogues
scored at least once on his birthday!
However, not long
after Rogues received the ball on the edge of the circle, allowed the ball to
cross the line and powered it past (or under!?!?) Ricardo. Two all, but that
was not all. Just to prove that, if you get the ball out to the wings things
happen, the Swannie Swan Song made the ultimate finish with a goal from the
right wing and we had won!
Polished off the
remaining G & Ts, showered and got stuck in to the warm down giving good
exercise to the vase/glass. A splendid stew and dumplings helped form a base
and a very good evening ensued.
I will say no
more
for now.
Watch this space
for more highlights of the weekend.
Saturday 6th May – Party Time!
The Ancient “A”s
famous victory over the super-charged Falcons was celebrated in style in the
clubhouse on the Friday night, 5th May. The Jimmy Riddles disappeared
at a respectable rate helped by a layer of beef stew and dumplings. Mighty and
H did a grand job behind the bar and it was great to see so many people there.
I probably didn’t mix as much as I should, maintaining a close proximity to the
bar resulting in me not getting a clear view of the bottom of my new tankard
all evening.
Gradually people
ebbed away and, come
Saturday morning
dawned. Apart from dog walking it was a quiet day. The family gathered at
around
I think it was
circa
Got stuck into
the sandwhackers and some more Bombadier,
amidst the crowd of spectators who had turned up during the morning.
Again, absolutely brilliant, better than I had hoped. Circa
Thank you
everyone for your support in these events. Your participation made it enjoyable
for me and the whole of my family. See you at 70!